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Bloodshot

from Autophagia by Kisos

supported by
Hadriel
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Chris
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tmptina
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Mickel
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mikenooni
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/

about

I wrote this song when I was in such a chaotic panic about the state of the world, and in the face of what still feels like hopelessness under a brutal white cishet supremacist government and society.

I can't articulate exactly what this poem means to me anymore, it jumps so far around just like my mind did at the time, but it's forceful and fierce in it's loneliness. It is this relentless feeling and global pain stalking you, that permeates your relationships with others, with yourself, and with the world. It's this compact ball of your worst fears and traumas all appearing to rip you apart simultaneously, and in the end all you can do is succumb to it.

In short, it's dark lol thank you for reading and supporting me <3

lyrics

Bloodshot eyes, 9 to 5
Up all night can't stop crying
The more I try, the more I fear
Will anything ever become real

Serpentine maze of walls 
Between dimensions
Stubborn defenses
Slowing down to a crawl
Has anything I've ever done mattered

Wait up I'm stuck in the moment 
Hold up I'm frozen in time
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot eyes
I can't stop making excuses
Demon directly behind 
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot
 
One more night of wondering
What life could bring if I use my light
Shut off my brain, what's the use
Ripples refuse to recreate 

A fragment of my past
No happiness I've ever known
Will ever come back
Solitude in the crowd
Silence is the only sound allowed

Wait up I'm stuck in the moment 
Hold up I'm frozen in time
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot eyes
I can't stop making excuses
Demon directly behind 
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot

Erase forevermore the life i lived before
I can't revive that soul
Faded approximations, forcible purgation
How can I feel whole?

Slowing down to a crawl
Has anything I've ever done mattered

Wait up I'm stuck in the moment 
Hold up I'm frozen in time
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot eyes
I can't stop making excuses
Demon directly behind 
And when I see my reflection
Focus on the bloodshot eyes

credits

from Autophagia, track released September 15, 2021
Music & Lyrics by Kisos
Produced by GESS & Kisos
Mix/Master by Gavin Bradley
Cover Art Photo by Adam Ouellette
Edit by Kisos

license

all rights reserved

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about

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Kisos New York, New York

Music to break your heart & heal your soul.

ps i livestream on Twitch too @itsKisos just can't fit all my links below hehe

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